I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
