She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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