Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
