I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize