I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
