When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
