My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
