pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
foreskin is a definite game changer
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
