Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
