I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
