her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
