Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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