we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
