Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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