i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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