I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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