Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you will always have a special place in my vag
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
