If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
