It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
As shirtless as possible
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
