I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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