Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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