This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
