hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
