Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
