i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
