Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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