Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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