what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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