in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Found your dick twin last night
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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