Moan for me like Helen Keller
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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