too bad you live with your parents still
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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