farters have to be the big spoon...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
