ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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