I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
