My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
