It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
