Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize