I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
