Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize