Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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