Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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