just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
