I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize