Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
