using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize