is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
