Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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