You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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