just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
