Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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