you guys were way drunker than both of me
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize