so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize