I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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