I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
