At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just high enough for therapy.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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