he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
my shit smells like andre
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
