remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
