He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
