dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
