NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
