I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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