East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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