I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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