Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
