hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I don't want my vagina anymore.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
