Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
