i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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