Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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