OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
