he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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