Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
