So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize