Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
