So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
