I want to have your abortion
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
