he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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